In alarming news, a new study has determined that most people cannot differentiate quotes in British “lad mags” from statements made by convicted rapists… and that when men are asked to choose between the statements made by both parties, men will more often agree with the rapists’ opinions.

Popular men’s magazines and sex offenders are using the same language, and it would seem that these magazines are perpetuating sexist and misogynist notions about women and sexuality.

“There is a fundamental concern that the content of such magazines normalises the treatment of women as sexual objects. We are not killjoys or prudes who think that there should be no sexual information and media for young people. But are teenage boys and young men best prepared for fulfilling love and sex when they normalise views about women that are disturbingly close to those mirrored in the language of sexual offenders?,” asked study co-author Dr. Peter Hegarty.

Here’s one quote:

You do not want to be caught red-handed . . . go and smash her on a park bench. That used to be my trick.

Now, take a guess: is that quote taken from a men’s magazine or was it said by a rapist? If you guessed the former, you are unfortunately correct.

Here are two more disturbing examples:

I think if a law is passed, there should be a dress code . . . When girls dress in those short skirts and things like that, they’re just asking for it.

And

I think girls are like plasticine, if you warm them up you can do anything you want with them.

The first is by a rapist and the second by a magazine. Hard to tell the difference, isn’t it?

“We were surprised that participants identified more with the rapists’ quotes, and we are concerned that the legitimisation strategies that rapists deploy when they talk about women are more familiar to these young men than we had anticipated,” said lead study author Dr. Miranda Horvath (emphasis mine).

And I thought women’s magazines were trouble!

Do you read men’s magazines that promote — even if only subtly — violence against women? And if so, now that you are aware of this study and its implications, will you stop?

What else can we do?

Does abstinence-only education help? Do we need comprehensive sex education classes in schools instead? What else would be necessary to teach young people to respect the sexuality and boundaries of their peers of all sexes and genders (actually, people of all ages would benefit from this type of information, would they not?)? Further, what else in our society is exacerbating the issue of sexual assault – TV shows that sexualize and objectify women? (I can think of plenty that air on foreign television, e.g., Argentina’s Show Match, in which women prance each night wearing glittery g-strings and stilettos. Apparently this phenomenon is popular in Italian culture as well.) Are films to blame (pornographic and not)? Frat culture? Even women’s magazines?

What are we teaching boys and men?

One of the roots of the problem is that men are strongly encouraged to assert their aggressiveness and sexual appetite to manifest their masculinity — a move ostensibly necessary to gain the respect of others. Men are often taught to put their sexual desires ahead of common sense. Besides, boys will be boys. This behavior is widely accepted.

Taking Action

One group that’s working to address this is Men Can Stop Rape, an international organization that strives to eradicate rape and violence through public awareness and leadership training.

“In contrast to traditional efforts that address men as the problem, Men Can Stop Rape’s pioneering work embraces men as vital allies with the will and character to make healthy choices and foster safe, equitable relationships,” the group explains.

Another great organization is Eve Ensler’s V-Day — a global activist movement to end violence against women and girls. This group does not only address rape, but also female genital mutilation (FGM) and sex slavery, among other issues. It does this via global campaigns and fostering public awareness. V-Men workshops, for example, raise awareness and funds for anti-violence groups within their own communities.

What can you do?

Today on Facebook a couple of my contacts shared this article from Cosmopolitan: A New Kind of Date Rape by Laura Sessions Stepp. The author’s words hit me hard and saddened me greatly (okay, in truth, they angered me more than anything). In fact, my emotional response has been so sharp that I decided to not only spread the word on Facebook, as I always do, but also to write Cosmopolitan an email and post about this venomous article on my blog, which until now did not feature any posts on political issues.

What’s the problem with Stepp’s article? It discusses so-called “gray rape.” You know, when you say “No” but are assaulted anyway, yet somehow what happened is not really rape, because, you know, you might slightly be to blame, and you’re not fully sure that other people wouldn’t ultimately blame you for what happened anyway. I’m sorry – when did getting sexually violated after you clearly say “No” become anything other than rape? Right: never.

Rape is rape is rape, ladies and gents and everyone else, and calling it “gray” or “make-believe” or cruelly manipulating someone’s words to make it seem like a victim asked for it isn’t going to change that fact. All it’s going to do is make innocent, traumatized victims (women, men, and all others) confused, if they weren’t already, and make them feel guilty. It’s going to take credibility away from rape and assault victims. It’s going to let rapists feel more at ease about attacking. It’s going to hinder the cause against rape.

I’d like to note that I ceased reading “women’s magazines” when I turned 14 and – magically! – my self-esteem improved. This turn of events is clearly not surprising. I’ve stayed away from such magazines and articles [“How to lose 10 lb in 10 days,” “How to please your man” (because my pleasure doesn’t matter), “Products to hide your imperfections,” etc.] since then, but this time I couldn’t stay away, and I’m glad I didn’t.

I am pasting my letter below, and I hope you will let Cosmopolitan know what you think of their article too; click here to rant away. (Note: In my letter, I refer to rape victims as women only because the article does, but I am fully aware that, while most rape victims are indeed female, rape victims are also transgender, male, and so on. I wish I had included this information in my letter!)

Dear Cosmopolitan,

Laura Sessions Stepp’s article on rape is full of subtle victim-blaming. How is getting coerced into sex after saying “no” anything but rape? It’s not gray rape, it’s not orange, sort-of rape — it’s full-on rape, and women need to be sure and feel safe that when they are raped they can call it rape and they have every right to seek help without the fear that they will be blamed for what happened. They need to be solid on what rape is, and your article works against this, because it will perniciously implant seeds in impressionable, unsure women, and especially those who may have been assaulted. The article needs to be removed and an apology issued.

Sincerely,

Natalia Real

An old favorite, this essay originally appeared as a guest post on Pro Writing Tips.

Language, copyediting, and tips for honing your copyediting skills

I love language for several reasons: double entendres, its delicate and potentially brutal beauty, its occasional dive into the abyss of the ineffable, and its unconscious power.

We absorb outward reality—life—through language; it shapes our perceptions. For instance, most insults in the English language (and the Spanish language, among others) make disproportionate use of female gender and non-human animal designations, e.g. throw like a girl, SOB (note the B), he’s a dog, and the litany of your momma jokes. I wonder why a non-human animal as precious as a dog is used to insult a human, why there are no your pappa jokes, and why men aren’t told to get back to the garage like women are told to get back to the kitchen (which would be awful, too).

The obvious answer is that we live in a sexist and speciesist society—but I won’t go into that.

My point is that these terms, the words that we use to communicate with each other and describe the world around us, do influence the way that we see and treat each other and our surroundings. Humans have been penetrating and raping nature for centuries, violating it, and now our ecosystems are on the brink of collapse. Women are second class citizens in this world, and don’t even get me started on non-humans and other minorities. The power of language is not to be underestimated.

Words are weapons, not innocuous tools with which to craft one-dimensional “roses are red” poems. Language can neither be objective nor exist in a vacuum; it is dialogic: texts exist in and are affected by the culture system that encompasses them, including previously written works. Additionally, each reader will perceive content through her or his own mental filter, altering the text’s meaning even further. Words are, then, to be respected and employed with caution.

This is where copyediting (and, of course, writing) gets interesting. It becomes a multidimensional, unwittingly influential feat of taking over the world. Okay, not really. But a single word can, indeed, change everything. We copyeditors are trusted with a creator’s thoughts and get to manipulate them to our heart’s content. It is thus a grand job that we undertake, a privilege. I appreciate and take pride in it.

Throughout my years as a copyeditor, I have discovered tactics to help me sharpen my skills and increase my productivity. Here they are:

• Write and copyedit yourself. Then, have a painstaking grammar geek (maybe a copyeditor you look up to) correct your work so you can learn from your mistakes.
• Scrutinize books, newspapers, magazines, blogs, shampoo bottles in the bath—anything and everything you can get your hands on. Take notes and, if you aren’t sure, check them against a style guide or dictionary. Be vicious!
• Visualize words to help you remember their spelling.
• Visualize and punctuate conversations and songs in your head.
• Use a thesaurus—and always check your word choice in the dictionary before plugging it into your text.
• If you get a chance, take a short, mind cleansing break after copyediting a lengthy or abstruse text, and give it one last look-over before turning it in.
• Keep it tight.
• Stick to the active voice whenever possible.
• Share your wisdom: if you know writers who are receptive to feedback, give it to them, especially if you are the one to edit their work. Not only will you be helping out a colleague, but you will also, hopefully, not have to correct the same mistakes time and time again anymore.
• Give out copies of Strunk and White’s The Elements of Style (or whichever guide is most appropriate) for Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa and birthdays to lighten your workload.

The most important thing, however, is to enjoy the process. No matter how advanced your skills may be, there will always be more to learn. And this is good news! It means that there is no such thing as perfection—and if there were, our lives would surely be very boring. So be thorough, but patient; offer constructive criticism (to yourself, too); nurture your skills and others’. And have fun! Because if you don’t have fun, what’s the point?