Natalia Real » self-love

Brief notes on body-image and body-hatred

Natalia — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 22:25:36 +0000

I am in love with Feminist Ryan Gosling.

Feminist Ryan Gosling’s Danielle Henderson is a goddess. It was about time I shared one of her creations.

I will soon begin writing about body-image, body-hatred, self-esteem, and other issues affecting women in particular but men — and children! — as well. It’s an issue very close and harmful to my body, mind, and soul and the bodies, minds, and souls of countless people I come across every single day. It’s amazing to me how far-reaching the media’s noxious messages are and how deeply they infiltrate our thought processes.

TV, magazines, billboards, cosmetics companies, inventors of Botox, cosmetic surgeons, etc. — you are some of our society’s worst poisons. Many of us are are fighting you. And you are not going to win.

You’ve got to love your tree

Natalia — Tue, 12 Jul 2011 22:54:04 +0000

We are all trees.

This is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever heard. Not surprisingly, it’s a story by the wonderful Eve Ensler. (Since for some reason I am currently unable to embed the video, follow this link to watch and hear Eve tell you her story herself.)

I asked a woman in Nairobi, in a rift valley, “Do you like your body?”

She looked at me like I was crazy.

“Like my body? Like my body? Ooh, I love my body! I love, love my body! And my hands – ooh, my fingers! Look at my fingers, my fingernails! They’re crescent moons! My hands, my arms! So strong! They carry me along, so strong! Ooh! And my legs! My legs can wrap around a man and hold him down. My breasts…”

“I was like, whoa, whoa… stop there.” I said, “I don’t know how to do that. I don’t know how to love my body.”

She said, “What’s wrong with your body?”

And I said, “Well, I’ve got this stomach…”

And she said, “A stomach? What stomach? Your stomach is mean to be seen!”

So she said to me, “Eve, Eve – do you see that tree? Do you like that tree? Now, look at that other tree. Do you like that tree? Do you think that tree isn’t pretty because it doesn’t look like the other tree? Do you think this tree is ugly because it doesn’t look like that tree? You’re a tree. You’ve got to love your tree! Love your tree!”

How often do you remember to love your tree? Let’s remind ourselves every day! We are all trees worth loving.

Tackling writer’s block, Pt. 1

Natalia — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 05:55:36 +0000

All of us writers – whether writing fiction or nonfiction, frequently or not, professionally or for leisure — come across the nefarious and infinitely frustrating phenomenon called writer’s block at some point in our writing adventures. It is ineluctable, at least as far as I know (and if you’ve never suffered from it, please let me know so I can alternately admire and envy you for your phenomenal luck!).

Lucky for us, there are copious methods and tricks we can try to combat a block, monolithic as it may be.

First, a couple of notes: 1) My suggestions may not be enough if you’ve got very little time left to finish your work. 2) None of the links below are affiliate links.

Now, I believe that the very best way to clear your head is by opening it. With an axe. Crack. And then cleaning it out.

However, if you’re not into brain trauma or blood creeps you out, you could try any of the following tactics:

Yoga is for everyone

Yoga

An hour — or just a half hour! Or even 15 minutes! — of yoga. You can access a different, full-length class for free each week at Yoga Today. YT offers anusara, kundalini, ashtanga-vinyasa, and hatha blends (these are different styles of yoga). For a pretty low monthly price you can sign up and access hundreds of full-length classes. You can also find several full-length yoga classes and short sessions for free on YouTube; just look up “Yoga Today.” I highly recommend their work.

Another brilliant set of classes is The Flow Series (Earth, Water, and Fire) by Ganga White and Tracey Rich. These are plain hatha classes and the instructors are serious, not as friendly and goofy as those on YT. It depends on what you like. If you’re new to yoga, you can begin with the Earth video, which is a level one.

If you have never done yoga, I recommend you attend a few classes before you venture out on your own at home. This will help you make sure you don’t injure yourself and are getting the most out of your poses. If you are in a rush, however, an online class will do.

Yoga nidra

Yoga nidra, also called yogic sleep, is guided relaxation, a state of conscious deep sleep that rejuvenates both mind and body. Sessions last between 20-45 minutes on average. The teacher may use body scanning, guided imagery, or other methods to lead you to a state of deep relaxation. Read an article about yoga nidra here. You can look up classes in your area, purchase CDs or mp3s online, or find free guided meditation mp3s at Dharma Talks or one by Tom Volkar here.

Dancing Shiva

Dance of Shiva

An intriguing and fascinating practice I began last year is called Shiva Nata, or the Dance of Shiva. This also takes your mind to new and higher places. The amazing Havi Brooks (whose blog and products at The Fluent Self will blow your mind) says that shiva nata “uses movement patterns to generate new neural connections and huge understandings that let you rewrite your patterns.” You will begin having epiphanies like crazy. Your mind will clear. You may feel inspired. Shiva nata might look weird, but trust me (and Havi!) when I say it rocks.

The Fluent Self

Like I said, Havi Brooks will blow your mind. She offers plenty of ideas and exercises you can do to “destuckify” yourself, whatever your particular type of stuck is. She’s huge on self-kindness and patience, which is perfect for when you’re having a hard time no matter what the circumstances. Just go visit her blog – you can thank me later! You can even download a free “recoding your mind” meditation mp3 from her website.

I will discuss additional, less esoteric tactics you can try in my next post. Meanwhile, let me know if you take on any of the ones I recommend in this post!

May your writer’s block dissipate with ease and speed.

Namaste.

4 No-Brainer Questions

Natalia — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 07:26:48 +0000

This useful and inspiring exercise was created by the lovely Victoria Brouhard.

What qualities would help you get that No-Brainer, “Hell yeah!” feeling about 2010?

Fun

Stability

Safety

Progress

Success

Growth

Peace

Love

Of those qualities, which ones can your business help you with? For each of them, describe how your business might help bring more of those qualities into your life.

Fun: Writing about exciting and socially mindful topics on my blogs and for work.

Stability: Find ways to steadily develop my income.

Safety: The above, plus organizing my time to better allow for the harmonious coexistence of work and volunteering at the humane society, Shiva Nata, yoga, meditation, exercises like this one, spending time in nature, and nurturing socialization.

Progress, growth, and success: Continue to learn and enrich myself through the things I write about and the strategies I come up with to stabilize my business and income. Develop new ways to help my Right People through new services or products, such as ebooks or courses.

Peace: Continue refusing to sell out working for corporations and companies/people who engage in questionable practices. In other words, keeping my conscience clean. Also, consistency to create stability and safety, as mentioned above.

Love: Continue to write from my heart, to care about what I do and how I help others with my work. Reach and connect with more people who are doing beautiful things in life through my blogs, social media profiles, and the launching of new services.

For the things you described above, what are some ideas for projects, activities or practices that you could explore to accomplish those things?

Developing steady income: Create sustainable products and courses, perhaps in collaboration with others in my field(s). Diversify my sources of income.

Organizing my time: Use my organizer and stick to schedules. Practice more planning ahead.

Reaching more people: Continue hanging out on Twitter and Facebook, increase blogging frequency and collaboration, offer new products. Maybe a newsletter; once I have the other new stuff figured out so I don’t overwhelm myself into stuckness and stagnation. Gah!

There will be some overlap as far as what qualities will increase with which projects. Are there any projects that give you more of the qualities than others?

Yes! Blogging and expanding the horizons of my business – you know, that’s a yucky word, so I’ll call it “work” – through the creation of new products and connections. Diversifying my income to perhaps make more time to nurture myself and, in turn, develop increased strength in myself that I will be able to use in my work!

Super!

Practicing the art of listening to yourself, your body, your true needs, is a gift in itself. It can be frustratingly difficult at first, but becomes easier with – wait for it – practice! Practice practice practice. What a pain in the butt. But, you know, not if you view this process as beautifully nutritious food for the soul, for the whole of you.

Besides, if you don’t nurture yourself, who will? Nobody, that’s who! And even if someone else tries, she or he will not get far without you opening the door to compassion, gratitude, and kindness to yourself. It’s like when you try to cheer up somebody suffering from low self-esteem. You can praise that person for her or his fantastic qualities all you want, but that person will keep on ignoring your words and telling you that you’re full of crap. Self-deprecation will prevail until that person is ready for transformation into self-love. Tough stuff. But never impossible!

Hey, all this self-love stuff is perfect for Valentine’s Day! May you have a happy one!